Don't Push Me and You Can't Make Me. A perfect match. But not made in heaven, oh no. Made in the world of rackets (complaints/upsets) and winning formulas (strong suits). They say in Landmark that "an act marries an act." Well Don't Push Me is my husband's act. When he goes there, everybody is clear it is time to leave him alone. I mean, the guy is scary. You Can't Make Me is my act.
When we met, neither one of us had done the Landmark Forum, so we had no idea our acts were compatible. We didn't know we had an "act." We thought it was other things, like the magic of chemistry, similar values and interests, being attractive to each other, being soul mates, mutual regard. How does it burst your bubble when you realize that you married your own act?
Showing posts with label racket. Show all posts
Showing posts with label racket. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Responsibility is a two-way street
In a strict sense our every reaction is altogether our personal responsibility. It is never about "them" and it is always about "us." But, and I hate to say but...but we are also responsible for what we send out into the world, and to some extent it is irresponsible not to be accountable for how our words and actions are received, how they land on the other side.
But that is exactly how Landmark deals with criticism of their programs. They point out that your reaction is about you. They are clear that your reaction is not about them. But by making it all about you, they aren't accountable. This way, they never get criticized. Your criticisms are always invalidated, in so far as having anything to do with Landmark and how their programs are run. They consistently and skillfully turn it back on you. There is no way to criticize them without being told you are in a racket, or you are in an upset, and when there is a racket or an upset, it is always your own creation.
Of course you are expressing displeasure and unhappiness, so you are disempowered. You are invited to become powerful by being responsible for your reaction and your complaint. The focus is now squarely on you and your deficient mental mechanisms. I sometimes wonder if they deliberately annoy the shit out of people as part of the program. If they can't get you to react, there is no program. There's nothing for them to do.
But that is exactly how Landmark deals with criticism of their programs. They point out that your reaction is about you. They are clear that your reaction is not about them. But by making it all about you, they aren't accountable. This way, they never get criticized. Your criticisms are always invalidated, in so far as having anything to do with Landmark and how their programs are run. They consistently and skillfully turn it back on you. There is no way to criticize them without being told you are in a racket, or you are in an upset, and when there is a racket or an upset, it is always your own creation.
Of course you are expressing displeasure and unhappiness, so you are disempowered. You are invited to become powerful by being responsible for your reaction and your complaint. The focus is now squarely on you and your deficient mental mechanisms. I sometimes wonder if they deliberately annoy the shit out of people as part of the program. If they can't get you to react, there is no program. There's nothing for them to do.
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